The Proposal - Part II

(A few months later...on a lakeside...6.30 pm)

She(almost in tears after hearing him speak): Why are you doing this to me? We've been together through thick and thin, and I am sure this is just a phase too.. it will pass. Trust me .. please... we can make this work...
He(cuts her abruptly): NO.. I can't take this relationship any further.. every time I want to keep you happy but things just get ruined. I can't give you the happiness you deserve... this is just not meant to be... You'll be happier without me. Just move on.. (Shrugs her away and walks out...7.30 pm)

She is sitting by the lakeside alone. It's 9.30 pm and the stars are twinkling as brightly as ever. Tears can't stop rolling down her eyes as she sits by the shore watching the moonlight sprinkle on the waves that softly touch her feet. She remembers how he used to play with her toes and enjoy watching her shapely legs whenever she wore short skirts. She reminisces their long walks along the same lake, those hugs, those kisses... Why did it end? What did she do so wrong? Why did they even get so close if things were not meant to last? Will she ever be able to forget him? .. the smell of his shirt, the touch of his hands, the magic in his smile...

Days roll over, she finds it difficult to not think about him and what went wrong but makes a firm decision that she is done with love in her life, closes the doors of her heart forever and moves on. Thankfully work has kept her really busy and she will be flying to United States for an onsite job opportunity in a few days. Not really delighted at this offer but a tad eager to see a new place, a new world leaving her past behind.


(to be continued...)

A "lone" walk...

A lone walk... cold weather.. sudden rains.. getting drenched.. feeling every drop of rain on your face and the smell of wet soil.. What a weather Bloomy! You so remind me of my Mumbai tonight!

Take me away - By Imani
With the clouds rolling in
My soul starts to spin
The crazy feelin' that i love
Takes me away
Beyond and above
The drumming beat
Fills my head
I jump out of my bed
The one made of tears
And run to the window
I silently watch
My own private show
When it becomes to hard
To hold myself back
I break the window to shards
Jump into the rain
Yelling take me away

The Proposal - Part I

So I was reminiscing about my Mills n Boons days.. and how I thoroughly enjoyed reading that overtly mushy stuff.. I still crave for those wonderful "reading" spree days back! And then I got an idea for my next blog post.. (I must confess that I picked this idea from my cousin's blog.. you must read this beautiful story he penned down @ http://sansdeep.blogspot.com/)
I always wanted to write a book and get it published.. and I am sure I'll do that one day but till then I am going to start this series of posts to pen down a figment of my imagination.

So here I am with a fictional story about a girl and a boy who have recently met through a common friend and their friendship has grown leaps and bounds in just a few months. Both of them are born and brought up in Mumbai but have moved to Bangalore just a month ago for work. They live close-by in the same locality in Bangalore and meet up every night for late night walks. Both are adjusting with their new jobs and trying to cope with the new life away from family and friends. They are like each other's "alter ego" and bond over stuff like missing close friends, broken relationships in the past, similar family backgrounds, struggles for making it through in the competitive world and missing family and Mumbai! He is a shy but funny guy and regularly compliments her for her dressing sense and loves her cooking. She just loves those late night walks, talking her heart out to him over anything and everything.

Then...
He(one late night over a cup of coffee at a Cafe shop): Will you be my girlfriend?
She(smiles in disbelief): Are you fine? Do you even know what you are saying?
He: Yeah.. I just asked you out...
She: But we don't even know each other well..?
He: You are the only one I could connect to so well.. I know its early but I thought why not??
She: Listen.. I know we are like best friends in just a matter of two months but I think we should get to know each other better..
He (smiles): I am glad you said this.. I was expecting this from you... I would have been surprised if you had said yes.. (smiles)
She (smiles): ...

Now...
(They both have been very busy at work. More so, he has been working late nights for an upcoming deadline at work and has not met her for almost a week. One evening on a Sunday he comes to her apartment. They are sitting and chatting over a cup of coffee...)
He: I feel bad that we haven't got time for each other.. actually I am just lost.. I am not what I am forced to be here.. I don't like all this neatness n stuff.. I like being messed up.. that's just the way i am...
She: I love you
He(no reaction): .. I just want to get back to my original self...
She: I just said I love you
He: I so badly want to reciprocate back but..
She: .. but..?
He: you are the most amazing person i have met.. seriously...
(His cell rings.. some good news.. the moment he keeps the phone.. she gets up from her chair .. hugs him tightly.. the most amazing hug ..)
She: So proud of you... !
He(smiles shyly): Thanks.. my lucky charm !

... (to be continued)

I came.. I saw.. But I am still "learning"

It has been almost two months since I moved into this small, laidback town called Bloomington in the "supposedly" dreamland of most people - United States. And the urge to write about the experience thus far hopefully translates into a good post.

So 6th August,2010 is earmarked in my memories as the day I came to Bloomington.. my journey began.. away from my homeland, my family, my relatives, my friends, my surroundings and most importantly .. my "comfort zone". I still remember my steps into the atrium of Kelley School of Business... i was overwhelmed.. - finally my dream of studying in a B-school is shaping up! That first week was crazy.. walking down the B-town for miles and hours to reach destinations because of low frequency of buses, getting lost on the way, the scorching sun, the irritation/feeling of NO respite from the Mumbai heat, tanning in that burning sun, et al. But all this was interspersed with some great fun too -
1) The swimming session with Shammo, Poonu and Priya
2) First time I went to Nicks!
3) First time at Downtown n my favourite eating outlet - Chipotle!
4) Harry bear at Bear's Place and the chicken wings :)
5) Those "regular" late night walks...
6) Jogging with Poonu
7) The "haunted" Griffy Lake clean up event - walking in the woods, collecting seeds and then laying them along the banks of the lake, plucking out unwanted rose shrubs, those horrible bruises/cuts on my legs followed by the inability to wear skirts!
8) The Cookout event - enjoying on the swings like a small kid :)
9) The night we watched "Gunda" movie.. yes, i actually watched that DUMB stuff.. and thoroughly enjoyed it :D
10) Cooking prawns for Poonu and the sense of achievement after she loving and craving for it!
11) The "stuffed portabella mushrooms" and "chicken tandoori" potluck.
12) Poonu's butter chicken cooking days... :)
13) Jamming and singing sessions
14) Ganpati celebration n potluck
15) Walking down the street and spotting cute squirrels and rabbits run helter-skelter as you approach them
16) My tryst with cycling; Poonu's and Priya's efforts to teach me; the euphoria on finally being able to cycle and screaming like a kid in the basketball court of CP (Crescent Park) ... hahaha..
17) The hula-hooping in the middle of a mall and the insanity of actually buying a hoop !!!

... Outstanding moments.. carved a niche in my mind!

But as I write this today.. I regret to say that those fun moments have reduced drastically. Some due to work constraints.. and some due to changes in people/circumstances... I was always aware that "people" behave differently when in US.. but still find it uncanny and unnerving when I experience this each day in this so-called "dreamland". I'll put a few lines in marathi to convey my thoughts aptly - Naati kashi bantat, kashi baddaltat, kashi tuttat.. he sagla baghayla milala hya 2 mahinyat.. kadhi kadhi agadi radu yete aani kadhi achanak hasu suddha yeta hya sagla natyanvar... "bandhan" hya shabdala kahi arthach nahiye hya deshat.. I think the most tiring part of all this is managing the moods and whims and fancies of people around (having said that, I am sure others might be feeling the same about me!).. But all these situations, experiences have made me realize how much I took my family and friends for granted.

On a concluding note , I would like to say that - This is life.. have to live with it!
As always, found this apt poem that echoes my thoughts at this moment:

Missing Piece © Danyal Conner

You do what you're suppose to do,
with no frown or fuss.
Not because you want to ,
but because you must.
Day after day
It's like a routine.
Don’t have too much to say,
You only do the right thing.
Soon you feel empty,
but you don't know what it could be.
You want no sympathy.
But it's something you can't see
Everything used to make sense,
but now you're lost in a maze.
You feel so tense,
and you pray for better days.
Something just doesn't seem right
You look for an answer that's not there.
You stay awake all night,
But you feel like no one cares.
It's right in your face
and you think it's safe,
or should you forget?
Things don't seem the same,
But what should you do?
You think you should change,
But change for who?
Understanding means nothing to you now.
Your heart is pronounced deceased
This should you allow ,
or find your missing piece?

... yeah.. I am learning to find the "missing piece"!

The Climb

This is exactly how I feel right now... I wish You were here & I could hug You tightly...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I can almost see it
That dream I am dreaming
But there's a voice inside my head saying
"You'll never reach it"

Every step I'm taking
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking

But I gotta keep trying
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down
But no, I'm not breaking

I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep going

And I, I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on

'Cause there's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be a uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Somebody's gonna have to lose

Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb, yeah!

Keep on moving, keep climbing
Keep the faith, baby
It's all about, it's all about the climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, whoa

Leaving on a jet plane - John Denver

My roomies and I just jammed... this song sounds awesome on the guitar...
Fond memories of this song with Priya and Poonam -- 10th August,2010 1.00 pm !

All my bags are packed I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin' it's early morn
The taxi's waitin' he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, I'll think of you
Every song I sing, I'll sing for you
When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Guitar Solo

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time let me kiss you
Close your eyes I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times, I won't have to say

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh baby, I hate to go

Cause I'm leavin' on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

You !

I didn't expect this would happen
I didn't know I would meet You
But today I do feel free from all my blues
Cause I have found a new hope, a new life, a new beginning in You.

I can see a bud blooming
And I hope You can see it too
I wonder when will the moment to nurture it come
Make it grow far and strong and protect it from some
To weave silken bonds that hold true life long.

I sit here on the porch thinking how it would be to grow old with You
Will You make me laugh even then as you do now
Will You hold my hand when I cow down
Will You like the fragrance of my hair even when I am old and brown
Will You love me even when I frown?

I look at the moon tonight
And make a secret wish
One that will take me far beyond
Into the land of dreams and snow
Where We paint our life with my crayons...

Now i know why Di n Nee wished me - "Enjoy your experience" this morning!

Finally it's sinking in.. ! :-)

Yeah after a horribly sleepless night.. i "woke" up at 6.30 to get ready for the V-day today ! :P


my interview slot was 9.30 am... i reached the mumbai consulate by 8.15 am.

and was standing till 9.20 in the queue under scorching heat... :-(
(wat made me mad was a page 3 socialite - Divya Palat had also come for her interview but was allowed to stand for 1 hour in the shade at the entrance of the office.... grrrrrrrrrr x-( )

anyway... after doing all those formalities of security check n finger printing... i was awiting my number to be called out by ard 9.55 am

I was YAWNINGGG away to glory .. hehhee.. had to wait till 10.45 am for my number to be called out !

Duration : < 30 secs again \m/

Visa Officer was a beautiful young lady :)

Me: Good morning officer
She: (smiles) How you doing?

Me: I am good.. how r you? ...
She: I am doing fine too ! So you going to US to study?
ME: Yes
She: Which university n which course?
Me: Told
She: oh... is it Indiana State University or University of Indiana?
Me: (blahhh.. wats wrong with her... i have never heard of these names before..trap is it? ) (answered emphatically) INDIANA UNIVERSITY
She: Oh Ok... and the course is?
Me: (repeated again) Information Systems
She: Ok.. so did u apply to other schools?
Me: Yes...
She: Which are those?
Me: (after naming 3... she wasnt paying attention to me... busy typing something.. so i kept quiet n said i applied to total 8 !)
She: ok.. your visa is approved... u'll get it by courier...Goodbye :-)
Me: (Yippie in mind.. but cldnt smile.. still something imp left) Officer, i have my tourist visa on my old passport.. do you need to cancel that?
She: Oh no... wen you are entering US.. just mention correct visa type.. n then you can talk to the immigration officer for further doubts...
Me: ok.. thank you !

(stepping out... i opened the door... but someone (guessing a baby) had pee-ed :-\ at the entrance of that counter !! wondered how come i didnt notice it while entering... watever.. heheh.. opned the other door n ran out !!! )



Cheers,
tanV :-)

Procastination.... Ouchhh !

Lemme start this post with a group that i recently found on Facebook--> *Did U do IT* *Sorry mom, 4got* *Do U ever 4get to EAT/SLEEP/WATCH TV !?! *

Am sure.. most of us have been in the above situation.. And today.. it was no different for me :)

After sitting up late till 3 am last nite... i was woken up by the blaring and incessant intercom rings.. (I hate my driver for calling up every morning on the intercom :( )

So here i was, stumbling outta the bed.. just to acknowledge my driver's presence! That done.. i realised.. it was 10.30 am and i am running short of time to complete the assignments for the week. So while I switch on my PC (that's the first thing i do instead of attending nature's call or brushing my teeth :P ), I check my cellphone... shit.. 3 missed calls from dad.

Talk to him.. and realise that i forgot to mail him the university mail stating the amount for registration of pre-req courses; basically he needed to present this proof to his bank to issue the DD. So i immediately mail him the required stuff.. and get hooked onto facebooking and mail checking.

11.30 am - Amidst all this, it dawns upon me that i havent had breakfast yet. Got myself an omlette made, then sat and read newspaper... which was strewn with news of Kasab's death sentence.

12.30 pm- I get working on my assignments.

1.15 pm- Get a call from dad, "Tanu, there are some new rules of the bank that unless the CA fills up a form on RBI website and approves the transaction... bank cannot initiate the process to issue a DD! Mom has told u to speak to our CA.. and ask whether he can help."

1.35 pm- Talking to CA, told him the issue, to which he responds, "murkha aahet bank wale.. this is not needed for any amount lower than USD 3000$ ! Tell dad to speak to me.. i'll tell him what to tell to the banker."

I do as told... but in the mean time, checked with a friend whether she faced the similar issue- answer YES.. but no need of CA... probably u can fill it yourself on the RBI website!

(By the way-- did i tell u guys that i have to courier my DD TOMORROW to US??? ... yeah-- that's where and why the drama starts! )

1.45 pm - Mom calls, shouts for keeping things till last minute! Then tells me to come to pick her up from office so that we could try our luck at ICICI bank. I scream " i have an assignment deadline, how can i come, as in what difference will I make by coming? , i haven't even had a bath, no lunch too.. " .... REPLY "do u want ur DD or not for tomorrow??"... keeps the phone! :(

2.00 pm - Out of my house.. in the car, going to pick up mom.

2.30 pm - With mom in gaddi... "Everytime you do this... u knew since last month that u have to send the DD on 9th May... but you woke up today???? What will you do when you goto US.. who will run around with u there??? What if ICICI also rejects... good then.. sit n hatch eggs... everytime you do some stupid thing and make me pay through me nose to get stuff done urgently... So nicely you could have got the DD from your dad (my dad is a banker)... and now we r going to a private bank and paying them for that service... blah.. blah.... you know i get up at 5 am, such a bad day i had at work.. i was just waiting to come home and get an hour's nap.. n here u hav ruined it all...."

My ears went deaf :( :( :(

3.00 pm - at ICICI... filling forms... make a spelling mistake (outta nervousness surely... spelled kelley as keley)... doomed... ! Again angry looks from mom- shit !! The banker gives me a fresh new form .. have to redo everything again :(

3.45 pm - leaving bank with assurance from banker that i'll get my DD tomorrow morning.

4.00 pm - Mom - " what luck we have an account in this bank.. ! now call up your dad and tell not to do anything.. " Told dad the history-geography!

4.05 pm - Almost near Birdy's -- telling mom that i wanna have pastry... reaction - "Good.. EAT N BECOME FAT!!" hehehhehee... as ignorant as i cld get ... hopped out of the car.. fetched a mixed fruit special cake and 3 Chicken croissants from Birdy's . :)

4.15 pm - At home.. relieved.. ! but promise mom that this wont happen again!

(someone has rightly said- God couldn't be everywhere, so He created mothers! :) dunno what i wld do if mom didn't be my sole saviour everytime i land myself in a soup)

Moral of the story: procastination.. ouchhh ! ;-)

PS: will update this post if i do get my DD on time tomorrow ;)

"There You'll Be"

When I think back
On these times
And the dreams
We left behind
I'll be glad 'cause
I was blessed to get
To have you in my life
When I look back
On these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me

In my dreams
I'll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
And everywhere I am
There you'll be

Well you showed me
How it feels
To feel the sky
Within my reach
And I always
Will remember all
The strength you
Gave to me
Your love made me
Make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me

'Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank you
Now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always

In my dreams
I'll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
There you'll be

(love this song... )